When we go into a conflict stage (and we all do), sex can sometimes be used to keep score. If we are happy with our partner, we feel more open to erotic connection. Conflict and resentment may prevent us from wanting to be intimate. Sex may become a way to heal rifts, or it may decrease in frequency as we begin to pull away, protecting ourselves from stress. When conflict goes on for too long, and there is defensive behavior in both partners, we may begin to withdraw from each other. We pull back from the relationship, trying to protect ourselves from harm. We might accept the conflict as unavoidable and decide that it’s worth staying in the relationship for a variety of reasons; including the fact that we still remember the passion of the romantic love stage and hope that someday we can get back to that initial feeling.
