The Art of Kissing

Think back to the days when you and the love of your life (or of the moment at least) kissed; before you actually had sex - either for the first time or the first time for the two of you. Remember how exciting and passionate it was? How it could go on for hours? Well, it's time to take back the KISS as a sensual artform itself, not just a prelude to "the act."

Why, I'm sure you're asking? If you're a sexually active adult, then you must be wondering why shouldn't kissing continue to be foreplay that leads to sex? I'm not saying that we need to ban sex, but what I am suggesting is limiting how far you go from time to time would actually go a long way toward making your sexual experiences richer and even more enjoyable. Are you intrigued?

Let's explore the "Art of Kissing" from an emotional, mental and physical level:

Return to The Days of Innocense.
And yes, that can be a good thing. No matter how much of an, uh ., experienced lass or lad you are, there was a time B.I. - Before Intercourse. A time when everyone knew what the limits were, so there was no pressure about going further. You could just enjoy the moment and all of the new feelings. Of course, there was always the idea of sex in the back of everyone's mind - that's what made the making out so "dangerous" - but for the most part, no one had to seriously confront that issue, so it was just hours of glorious liplock.

You'll be Reminded of Why You Were Attracted to Your Partner in the First Place.

That first kiss in a relationship is so many things - excitement, nervousness, an assessment. (Yes, it's true; we equate the way our partners kiss with how good they'll be while horizontally engaged. This should not come as a surprise to anyone.) It's also the first time we feel that spark - that electrical feeling that jolts us when chemistry is happening between two people. It's giddy, it's arousing, and it can be recaptured.

OK, so you're hopefully warming up to this experiment. Now, how to implement it? I'll be the first to admit that this may take a little cunning - particularly if you're currently in a relationship that has crossed the sexual border many, many times. You don't want to be a complete tease or make your partner think that you aren't attracted to him or her anymore, but you also need to control the situation. So, the most important thing is to undertake this semi-spontaneously. Don't plan an Intercourse Embargo when you've got a special night on the horizon - romantic dinner, an anniversary, etc. - because frankly, that's just cruel.

It will take a bit of resolve on your part as well, because, let's face it, we enjoy having sex with our partners. And honestly, if things do progress to the point of no return, there's certainly no harm in it. You'll just have to try again. and how is that a bad thing?

Suggestions for Successful Kissing:

Take Your Lover by Surprise.

Some of the most exciting kisses are the ones we're not expecting. They don't even have to be soulful, tongue-twisting extravaganzas, either. The next time you're just sitting quietly together or even out walking around, try grabbing your sweetie and laying one on their lips - you'll both be surprised by how satisfying it can be. Just be mindful of where you are, and if things do start to get hot and heavy, do everyone a favor and find a more private spot.

Stay Dressed.

Make sure you're fully clothed before you commit to this endeavor. You're only tempting feelings of rejection if you prance around in something skimpy beforehand and then try to convince your kissing partner not to go any further.

Use Different Techniques to Keep Things Simmering; Not Boiling.

Once you've found a place to get comfortable, don't start going to town immediately. The point is to build things up, not to get you both immediately worked up and frustrated. If there's a move that you know gets your lover's heart racing (like earlobe nibbling or lip biting), do it, but only for a split second. Then get back to the kissing. Maybe kiss around their lips for a little bit, then come back to the main attraction. And don't be frantic about any of it. If you sense that control is being lost, just slow your own pace ,and your partner will most likely follow. Also, it's very important that the furthest south the kissing goes is the collarbone. Do I really need to explain why?