We make a choice, instead of ending the relationship, to go to “sleep,” sinking into the inevitability of unhappiness, and focus on outside interests to keep us feeling energized. This begins the “sleep” phase of the relationship.The sex in the sleep phase may be the only time there is connection in the partnership. Sex is a way to feel closer to a partner and renew a sense of commitment. This may also be a time when we start fantasizing about other lovers, or perhaps split off our erotic needs into affairs, internet relationships or pornography. Sometimes we just wonder what happened to all the passion and energy in our relationship.
In the “sleep” stage the sexual relationship begins to wane. Couples at this phase of their relationship may begin to complain about lack of interest in sex, sexual dysfunction, and non-initiation, feelings of rejection, abandonment, and resentment toward their partner. (Note: Many physical reasons exist for sexual dysfunction, including blood pressure medications, heart medications, cholesterol medications, menopause, hormonal imbalances, thyroid medication, birth control pills, and antidepressants. See your doctor for physical symptoms of sexual dysfunction, including erectile dysfunction and lack of interest in sex.)
