After the romantic phase has come to a landing, we settle into a commitment with our partner and we start to relax. The more familiar we are with each other, the safer and more comfortable we feel, and more of our real selves come to the surface. We may begin to relax our appearance. We sometimes start to put on weight or forget to shave as often or just become careless about our looks. We stop worrying about attracting our partner and start to worry about whether or not we are attracted to them.Sex during the “sweatpants” stage may be comforting; we know more about our partner’s needs and what they enjoy. We feel more confident in our ability to please our partner. We might slide into “maintenance sex,” no longer trying new things, just focusing on what works. Maintenance sex can be great, but not always as passionate as we desire.
